There comes a time when there are simply no excuses left to make or reasons to give. I can’t really say why I’ve allowed my health to be put on the back burner, or why I let myself get to the point where I’m feeling run down, sad, and out of sorts. I’m kind of a shell of who I want to be right now. A shiny well-dressed shell.
Over the years I have tried a lot of things to stay motivated to lose weight and get healthy including this blog. I’ve failed more times than I can count- disappointed myself in more ways than I thought possible. And now it’s time for tough love.
The truth is nobody else can “tough love” you into getting healthy, losing weight, stop smoking, cut back on drinking or really any other vice. That is 100% internal. And sure, a support system is great but frankly when it is “do or die” time and you are staring into the open fridge after a crappy day it is you and you alone making the choice. It’s really that simple.
The constant tug of war of living one way but truly wanting to live another is emotionally taxing and frankly I’m not interested in putting myself through that anymore. This is my last chance. I said it. There is no back tracking, break taking, or excuse making. This is the time I will lose it for good- or I’m done. Done with weight watchers, the blog, all of it. I’m so sick of myself and my repeated failure at this point that I’m even rolling my eyes while writing this post. Blah Blah Blah..lets start a diet. Blah Blah Blah..it will work this time. Blah blah blah. Ugh. I cannot be “that girl” anymore. The one who talks a lot and does nothing. I don’t like that girl and Id venture to say most other folks don’t either. She’s annoying and a little sad. I think it’s time I kicked her ass to the curb.
So, friends, I got up early today and marched myself into Weight Watchers. Wednesdays will not only be my weigh in day but my meeting day too. I will be in and out long before having to be at work. Perfect right? Also perfect- Not weighing in on Fridays and using Saturdays as an excuse to derail like a boss. Ahem.
Today I got my starting weight (thought I was going to choke and keel over right there when I saw it) and new materials. That part is always exciting but let’s be real- I’m no stranger to the excitement of the first 3 weeks ultimately fading out to failure around week 5. I’ll say I’m cautiously optimistic but really I’m terrified to fail and determined not to.
I sat in the meeting room and watched it fill up. Today we would talk about being prepared. Something I certainly haven’t been lately. The other members were really welcoming and I suddenly wish I’d been going to meetings all along.
I dash home to log my food for the day before heading to work. Luckily, there is an app for my phone which will allow me to track on the go! Yippee! This means I can squeeze this in during “real time” which I like. No more guessing what Ill be eating on the go. You do have to be a member to use the application but I highly recommend it. It’s already my new favorite.
So, here we are- ready to go! One day and one challenge at a time.. Obviously, this isnt my first rodeo but I promise to hang on extra tight this time!!
Stop by on Wednesdays to tack my progress and stick around for the fun!