Ugh. Ok Here, we go. I have been dreading this post for a LONG time. Seriously. However, it is a necessary evil. I think one reason I failed at my efforts in the past was just the simple fact that I never really got raw and honest with myself (or my readers). So, (deep breath) here it is… This is me exactly 2 weeks postpartum. In this photo I weigh 329.0 pounds. (insert shocked emoji here. hahahaha). Nobody but my husband and doctor have ever heard me speak those words so there you go world- it is finally out there!
Just writing that makes me feel a little like throwing up but now it’s out there. To be fair, people do have the “gift of sight” and can clearly see I have LOT to lose. I don’t know why I have been so fearful of putting this out there. It really is just a number.
I really wish I could blame this number on the pregnancy but the truth is I am 3 pounds lighter than when Aiden was conceived. So, yeah. My body might still look a little post pregnancy weird but the numbers, that is all me. Ahem.
Just to give you some perspective- my current weight is not anywhere near my highest weight. I was actually 49 pounds heavier than this at my highest weight 2 Easter’s ago (when I had my crazy Easter weekend health scare) which is horrifying. At my “lowest” blogging weight I was about 20 pounds less than I am now. The photo below represents that “high and low”.
Before gaining this weight in graduate school- I was in a healthy weight range. I spent my high school/college days busy with dance and other athletics. So, I know my body is capable of change. I can remember what a healthy weight looks and feels like. One day we can explore how this much weight even managed to pile on- but I wont be tackling that today. 🙂 (Not nearly enough sleep to get that serious y’all).
Having Aiden and watching my body literally produce a miracle- I have a gained a WHOLE NEW RESPECT for what it is capable of. Truly. I feel more ready than I ever have to push myself hard physically (once I am cleared to do so) and make the changes happen. I know my body is capable of amazing things. The love/hate relationship we once had is now just love. Loving myself/ my body, my husband, my son, and my life enough to make those healthy changes happen. It is just time.
For now, I am starting Saturday morning weigh-ins. For the next few weeks we are looking at only changes in diet while I wait on my body to heal from the surgery BUT we all have to start somewhere. Please stop by on Saturdays to check in, cheer me on, and hold me accountable! After all, that is part of what this blog is about!
Feel free to link your weigh ins in the comments-